Author: Samuel Johnson

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

A fishing rod is a stick with a worm at one end and a fool at the other.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

They inculcate the morals of a whore and the manners of a dancing master.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

We could not have had a better dinner had there been a Synod of Cooks.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

You must have taken great pains, sir; you could not naturally have been so very stupid.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

Aa dog walking on his hind legs … is not done well, but you are surprised to find it done at all.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

Wickedness is always easier than virtue; for it takes the short cut to everything.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

What I gained by being in France was learning to be better satisfied with my own country.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

You have but two topics, yourself and me and I'm sick of both.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

A cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

Wine makes a man better pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

When a man says he had pleasure with a woman he does not mean conversation.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

Exercise! … I never heard that he used any: he might, for aught I know, walk to the alehouse; but I believe he was always carried home again.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer