Author: Scott Adams

Needing someone is like needing a parachute; if they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won’t be needing them again.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
People

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Work

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Intelligence People Stupidity

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways; but he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Science/Weather

Dance like it hurts… love like you need money… work when people are watching.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Dance Emotions Entertainment Work

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Characteristics Failure Intelligence Mistakes People

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways; but he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Beliefs God Science/Weather

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Intelligence Stupidity

A consultant is a person who takes your money and annoys your employees while tirelessly searching for the best way to extend the consulting contract.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
People

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Body Characteristics Money Work

Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes; art is knowing which ones to keep.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Art Entertainment Intelligence

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Characteristics

The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

One “Oh shit” can erase a thousand “Attaboys.”

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Characteristics Communication

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Work

There are two essential rules of management:
One: the customer is always right.
Two: they must be punished for their arrogance.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Work

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Fools Intelligence Stupidity

No matter how many times I visit this great city I'm always struck by the same thing: a yellow taxi cab.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Places

Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Beliefs Opinion