Author: Stewart Francis

I think I’m really learning a lot from my creative writing classes; the entire experience is just indescribable.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Sometimes I wonder what my grandfather would think of what I do, he spent his whole life in the kebab business, was buried with all his equipment, probably turning in his grave.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras; I still have flashbacks.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

My parents are mixed-race… my father prefers the 100 meters… my mom is Pakistani.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I went to my local library yesterday, and asked: “Have you got a book on handling rejection without killing?”

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

My wife and I decided we don’t want children; if someone wants them, we’ll drop them off tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; it was riveting.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

My girlfriend thinks I’m very mature. She also thinks I’m incapable of being faithful. My wife, on the other hand…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

My doctor thinks I’m taking hallucinogenic drugs… how do I know?… let’s just say a little bird told me.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I have been called too vague by you know who… but you know the old saying…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I was going to join the debating team, but somebody talked me out of it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

What is the big deal about trainspotters… I counted 27 of the losers today.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I really like what mechanics wear… overall.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Knock knock jokes are completely wasted on the homeless.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

You're looking at a very proud Canadian who is very proud of the educational system in Canadia…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

When I was at school I was great at history… oh wait, no I wasn't.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance; we'll see about that.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I want to write a mystery novel… or do I?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance; we’ll see about that.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I'm not much of a storyteller… interesting how that all started…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer













The Hunger Site