Author: Terry Pratchett

It’s hard to be famous and alive.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Gods like to see an atheist around… gives them something to aim at.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

(1948 – ) English novelist

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

(1948 – ) English novelist

The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel; this is essentially the basis of all military thinking.

(1948 – ) English novelist

I’ll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there’s evidence of any thinking going on inside it.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate.

(1948 – ) English novelist

‘Pessimist’ is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day; set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

(1948 – ) English novelist

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

(1948 – ) English novelist

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Only in our dreams are we free; the rest of the time we need wages.

(1948 – ) English novelist

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

(1948 – ) English novelist

An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease; it made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Thud!

(1948 – ) English novelist

Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally evil, but by people being fundamentally people.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.

(1948 – ) English novelist

If life was a party, he wasn’t even in the kitchen.

(1948 – ) English novelist

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