Author: Terry Pratchett

This isn’t life in the fast lane, it’s life in the oncoming traffic.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Life

Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Intelligence Stupidity

The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel; this is essentially the basis of all military thinking.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Conflict Government Military War

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Animals Cats

Gods like to see an atheist around… gives them something to aim at.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Beliefs God

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day; set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Situations

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Communication Conflict Reading/Writing

In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Places Time

An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease; it made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Education

Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Fools Intelligence Stupidity

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Science/Weather Things

Where's My Cow?

(1948 – ) English novelist
Book Titles

Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally evil, but by people being fundamentally people.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics History Time

Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics

Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics

It’s the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Sex

I’ll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there’s evidence of any thinking going on inside it.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Intelligence Thinking

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Husbands Marriage Wives

A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Food/Drink

Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Science/Weather

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics Honesty Intelligence Truth