Author: Tom Lehrer

Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

Apart from that, Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

In my youth there were words you couldn’t say in front of a girl; now you can’t say ‘girl.'

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

It is a sobering thought, that when Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

Once all the Germans were warlike and mean, but that couldn't happen again; we taught them a lesson in 1918 and they've hardly bothered us since then.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist