Author: Will Rogers Page 2

Calvin Coolidge didn’t say much, and when he did, he didn’t say much.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Insults Intelligence Speech

The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Government Intelligence Law Lawyers Understanding

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Emotions People

Nothing you can’t spell will ever work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Problems

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Appearance Clothing Men People Women

I belong to no organized party… I am a Democrat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians Politics Relationships

Ain’t it funny how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers we can recruit with nerve; but we can’t find one politician in a million with backbone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Military Politicians

Always drink upstream from the herd.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Alcohol Food/Drink

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Situations

It takes nerve to be a Democrat, but it takes money to be a Republican.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

Whenever I feel the need for exercise I go and lie down for half an hour until the feeling passes.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Activities Exercise

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Animals Situations

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do – well, that's Memoirs.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Past Reading/Writing Self

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Intelligence Problems Stupidity

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Congress Government Time

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government

Confucius perspired out more knowledge than the U.S. Senate has vocalized out in the last 50 years.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government Intelligence

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing – and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money

He’s the first president to discover that what the American people want is to be left alone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Places

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
History People Things Time