Author: Will Rogers Page 3

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Liberty doesn't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Ain’t it funny how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers we can recruit with nerve; but we can’t find one politician in a million with backbone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Confucius perspired out more knowledge than the U.S. Senate has vocalized out in the last 50 years.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate Committee appointed to look into it.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

I belong to no organized party… I am a Democrat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Whenever I feel the need for exercise I go and lie down for half an hour until the feeling passes.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

I don't make jokes… I just watch the government and report the facts.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator