Keyword: Alimony

Alimony: A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it.

Divorce Marriage

Alimony is the curse of the writing classes.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
Communication Marriage Occupations Reading/Writing

If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage

Alimony: A splitting headache.

Definitions Marriage

Alimony: The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

Divorce Marriage

Alimony: The sum of money a man is commanded to pay his ex-wife in exchange for the pleasure of having her live under a separate roof.

Definitions Marriage

Alimony: The high cost of leaving.

Definitions Marriage

Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them continues to pay for it.

(1893 – 1957) American actress & celebrity
Marriage Mistakes Money

A man doesn’t know the value of a woman’s love until he starts paying alimony.

Marriage

Group sex… are you kidding, I had group sex… my wife screwed me in front of the jury.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage Sex Wives

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Animals Divorce Marriage Money

Alimony: Bounty after the mutiny.

typographer
Definitions Marriage

I don't think I'll get married again; every five years or so, I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Divorce Marriage

Alimony: The high cost of leaving.

Divorce Marriage

Alimony: the ransom the happy pay to the devil.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Divorce Marriage

My ex-wife is going to hell on a scholarship.

American comedian
Divorce Marriage

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Divorce Marriage Money Time

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

(1894 – 1967) English heir, New York socialite (married 13 times)
Divorce Marriage

I heard from my cat’s lawyer today; my cat wants $12,000 a week for Tender Vittles.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Divorce Marriage

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage Money

Alimony: The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

Definitions Marriage