Keyword: Alimony

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

(1894 – 1967) English heir, New York socialite (married 13 times)

Alimony: The sum of money a man is commanded to pay his ex-wife in exchange for the pleasure of having her live under a separate roof.

Alimony: The high cost of leaving.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

(1882 – 1942) American actor

Alimony: the ransom the happy pay to the devil.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Alimony: The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

My ex-wife is going to hell on a scholarship.

American comedian

I don't think I'll get married again; every five years or so, I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist

I heard from my cat’s lawyer today; my cat wants $12,000 a week for Tender Vittles.

(1925 – 2005) television host

Alimony is the curse of the writing classes.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright

Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them continues to pay for it.

(1893 – 1957) American actress & celebrity

Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

Alimony: Bounty after the mutiny.

typographer

A man doesn’t know the value of a woman’s love until he starts paying alimony.

These days the meaning of a faithful husband is one whose alimony checks arrive on time.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Alimony: The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

Alimony: The high cost of leaving.

Alimony: A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it.