Keyword: As Fred Sanford in “Sanford and Son”

If God wanted you to eat Puerto Rican Food, he would have lined your stomach with Pepto Bismol.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Some people just shake’n bake, but I buy’n fry.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Esther, warn me before you come in so I have a chance to cover all of the mirrors!.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Esther, you wouldn’t want a drink, because you are a drink… a zombie!.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

I’m 65. People say I look 55. I feel 45. I’d settle for 35 and you make me feel 25.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Aunt Esther: Who you calling ugly, sucker?

Fred: I’m calling you ugly, I could push our face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

I’m callin’ you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Aunt Esther: Fred Sanford, the wrath of God will strike you down.

Fred: And this Louisville slugger will knock you out.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

My Elizabeth was as pure as the driven snow; and I am the only driver she ever had!

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Aunt Esther: My body was blessed by Mother Nature, honey.

Fred: And as you got older, it was cursed by Father Time.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

If you see the handwriting on the wall, you’re in the toilet..

(1922 – 1991) American comedian