As Jerry in “Seinfeld” | Just-One-Liners.com

Keyword: As Jerry in “Seinfeld”

People don’t just bump into each other and have sex. This isn’t Cinemax.

Jerry Seinfeld

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

It’s like my brain and my penis are locked in a chess match and I’m letting Him win.

Jerry Seinfeld

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Jerry in “Seinfeld” Brains Penis

Women don’t respect salad eaters.

Jerry Seinfeld

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

Men People TV/Movie Quotes Women As Jerry in “Seinfeld”

Boy, a little too much chlorine in that gene pool.

Jerry Seinfeld

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Jerry in “Seinfeld”

Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and then it goes over.

Jerry Seinfeld

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

Relationships TV/Movie Quotes As Jerry in “Seinfeld”

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.
Jerry: Yeah, they’re the worst.

Jerry Seinfeld

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

People TV/Movie Quotes As Jerry in “Seinfeld”

Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a coke machine. You can’t do it in one push, you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.

Jerry Seinfeld

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

Relationships TV/Movie Quotes As Jerry in “Seinfeld”

George: Why do they make the condom packets so hard to open?
Jerry: Probably to give the woman a chance to change her mind.

Jerry Seinfeld

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Jerry in “Seinfeld” Condoms

You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up.’

Jerry Seinfeld

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes As Jerry in “Seinfeld”

That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

Jerry Seinfeld

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Jerry in “Seinfeld” Christmas

Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. Death is #2. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.

Jerry Seinfeld

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

Death TV/Movie Quotes As Jerry in “Seinfeld” Public Speaking

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Keyword: As Jerry in “Seinfeld”

People don’t just bump into each other and have sex. This isn’t Cinemax.

It’s like my brain and my penis are locked in a chess match and I’m letting Him win.

Women don’t respect salad eaters.

Boy, a little too much chlorine in that gene pool.

Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and then it goes over.

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.
Jerry: Yeah, they’re the worst.

Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a coke machine. You can’t do it in one push, you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.

George: Why do they make the condom packets so hard to open?
Jerry: Probably to give the woman a chance to change her mind.

You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up.’

That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. Death is #2. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.