Keyword: Childhood

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older… little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman—stuff you pay good money for in later life.

(1956 – ) American comedian

I didn't grow up in the ocean – as a matter of fact – near the ocean – I grew up in the desert.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

I was raised as an only child… which really annoyed my sister.

British comedian

We used to write essays like: “What I'm going to be if I grow up.”

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection; my Yo-Yo… it never came back!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host

I grew up… in a house filled with love… my cousin lived there and she put out.

(1950 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, writer, singer & producer

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Growing up Jewish was a little different; some of the other kids in my neighborhood had diaries; I had a ledger… where I recorded how many diaries I sold to the other kids.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

(1927 – ) American comedian

I had everything a kid could want: two square meals a day, a basket to sleep in, and an imaginary dog.

(1949 – ) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

I was so poor growing up if I wasn’t a boy, I’d have had nothing to play with.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of hell.

(1925 – ) English writer & editor

I was born at the age of twelve on a Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer lot.

(1922 – 1969) American singer & actor

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own parenthood, but it didn’t because parenting can be learned only by people who have no children.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor

I was an altar boy as a kid… and the answer is no.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer

There are three terrible ages of childhood – 1 to 10, 10 to 20, and 20 to 30.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist

If growing up in the ’80s taught me one thing, it’s that my friends and I should have found a treasure map by now.

I'm a little kid; I'm gone 12, 13, 14 hours… I don't remember anybody coming looking for me… no Amber Alert goes off.

American comedian

Four of us slept in the one bed; when it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

The Hunger Site