Keyword: Committees

1. Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
2. Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
3. Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
4. When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
5. Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular – it's what everyone is waiting for.

A decision is what a man makes when he can’t get anyone to serve on a committee.

(1911 – 1993) columnist & novelist

A committee is the only life form with 12 stomachs and no brain.

Those most opposed to serving on committees are made chairmen.

An original idea can never emerge from committee in the original.

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.

Committee: A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

(1911 – 1969) American school superintendent, philosopher & humorist

If you want to kill any idea in the world today, get a committee working on it.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor

Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to want to sit on it for a second longer than they have to.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist

A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members.

The number one book of the ages was written by a committee, and it was called the Bible.

(1884 – 1957) Russian-born American film producer

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

If you leave the room, you're elected.

A camel is a horse designed by a committee.

(1906 – 1988) Greek-British designer of cars

All committee reports conclude that “it is not prudent to change the policy (or procedure, or organization, or whatever) at this time.”

A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.

British clerk of the House of Commons

A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.

(1932 – 2009) U.S. senator (Massachusetts)

There are four things that hold back human progress – ignorance, stupidity, committees and accountants.

(1797 – 1875) American accountant

Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate Committee appointed to look into it.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

A committee of three gets things done if two don’t show up.

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