Keyword: English

Welcome Turist We Spik English

When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist

I want to take one of those English as a Second Language courses – just go in and blow everybody away on the first day.

(1962 – ) American actor & comedian

I hope God speaks English; if I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host

My English is a mixture between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Archbishop Tutu.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer

The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

My parents were English; we were too poor to be British.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I read the greens in Spanish, but putt in English.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer

The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary.

web cartoonist (Sheldon)
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