Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, Murphy's Laws, insults & more
Some Popular Authors
Alfred E. Neuman
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.
(1861 – 1950) American writer
I’m no angel, but I’ve spread my wings a bit.
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
We learn from experience that men never learn from experience.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
This ain't my first rodeo.
I've been around awhile
I’ve done this before
Experience: Something you don’t get until just after you needed it.
Experience: A form of knowledge acquired only two ways: by doing and being done.
Experience is a good teacher, but the fees are very high.
William R. Inge
(1860 – 1954) English author, Anglican priest, professor & dean
It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Experience: What you get from being inexperienced.
We all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.
Peter De Vries
(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get if you don’t.
(1919 – ) American folk singer
Bill Dickey is learning me his experience.
(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Adolescence is the best substitute ever invented for experience.
Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.
Horner's Five Thumb Postulate
Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.
Barney: I think of you as experienced. In an emergency, you would be the first one that I’d call.Fish: Youshould call me first. I need time to put my teeth in.
(1921 – ) American actor
As Detective Philip K. Fish in “Barney Miller”
Experience: In the working world, something you can’t get unless you’ve already got it, in which case you probably don’t want any more of it.
(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
F. P. Jones's Creed
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