Keyword: Fishing

Fishing: A delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

Fishing: A venerable contest in which modern man pits his intelligence and technology against the native wit of primitive aquatic vertebrates, and generally finishes second.

Sinker: Lead weight attached to the end of a length of fishing line to facilitate the speedy disposal of unwanted lures.

Fishing: A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.

Angler: A man who spends rainy days sitting around on the muddy banks of rivers doing nothing because his wife won’t let him do it at home.

Anglers think they are divining some primeval natural force by outwitting a fish, a creature that never even got out of the evolutionary starting gate.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician

1. The more tangled your line is, the better the fishing is around you. 2. The time available to go fishing shrinks as the fishing season draws nearer. 3. The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Corollary: The more elaborate and costly the equipment, the greater chance of having to stop at the fish market on the way home.

If you're too busy to go fishin', you're too busy.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer

They should call fishing what it really is… tricking and killing!

(1973 – ) American comedian

Whenever two fishing lines are contiguous, they will become continuous.

It is to be observed that ‘angling’ is the name given to fishing by people who can’t fish.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist

If you want to catch more fish, use more hooks.

(1918 – 1990) football coach

You might be a redneck if… you've ever been too drunk to fish.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

On fishing shows they always throw the fish back; they don’t want to eat them, they just want to make them late for something.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

I would like to go fishing and catch a fishstick… that would be convenient.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

There are only two occasions when Americans respect privacy, especially in presidents; those are prayer and fishing.

(1929 – 1933) 31st U.S. president, humanitarian

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali; he was using a dotted line… he caught every other fish.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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