Keyword: George W. Bush

The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality

He's a man who was a failure until he was 40 years old, which looks really good on your resume – if you're a comic.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

U2 lead singer Bono met with President Bush at the White House this week. Bono urged the president to help the world’s poor; Bush urged Bono to get back with Cher.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

When the Iraq war started … little did George Bush know.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

To show that his energy bill is about more than drilling for oil in Alaska. This week President Bush visited a plant in Virginia that turned soy beans into a clean burning diesel fuel; which the president hopes one day will be used to fuel oil drilling machines in Alaska.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

His big thing now is we’ve got to get these evildoers… sounds like we’re living in a giant episode of ‘Scooby Doo.’

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian

Poor George [Bush], he can't help it; he was born with a silver foot in his mouth.

(1933 – 2006) politician

Do you realize we’re only a heart attack away from Bush being president?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003… President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

When the president, during the campaign, said he was against nation building, I didn't realize he meant our nation.

(1951 – ) U.S. senator (Minnesota), political commentator, comedian & writer

You know, if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

President Bush’s speech writer is leaving the administration; his last words were, "Me go now."

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

Last week North Korea publicly admitted for the first time it has nuclear weapons; the Bush administration has so far shown very little concern, as the North Korean missiles are believed only capable of reaching the Blue States.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

He’s like the first guy, like, from my reading level, you know — the first guy, like, from my math class to finally go out and do something!

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian

As I understand President Bush's Medicare plan, it provides for unlimited coverage for anyone over 72 whose parents can pass the physical.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug – the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth.

(1961 – 1994) comedian

As you know President Bush is on a tour of Europe; he says he's hoping to see the whole country.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

This weekend President Bush gave a speech honoring Abraham Lincoln’s birthday.  There was an awkward moment when Bush referred to Lincoln as “the guy who invented the penny.”

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

If Bush’s [overall approval ratings] don’t improve, he could become the first president held back and forced to repeat his presidency.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

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