Keyword: Good

I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks; the rest of them take after the other side of the family.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

I’m not good and tired, just tired.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

There's so much good in the worst of us, and so many of the worst of us get the best of us, that the rest of us aren't even worth talking about.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.

(1897 – 1976) American novelist, short story & sports writer

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter

In a social situation, the most difficult thing to do is usually the right thing to do.

You’re only has good as your last haircut.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb.

(1953 – ) Canadian actor & musician

A "good" family, it seems, is one that used to be better.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist

Politeness is half good manners and half good lying.

(1880 – ?) American author

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do – well, that's Memoirs.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Well, you’ve got to take the bitter with the better.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally evil, but by people being fundamentally people.

(1948 – ) English novelist

Ain't that the berries!

Mother Teresa with better legs.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer

She wouldn’t say shit if she had a mouthful.

Gooder than grits













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