Keyword: Horse racing

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

Nobody ever committed suicide who had a good two-year-old in the barn.

The trial began in Lake Charles, Louisiana of a jockey accused of hiding his horse in dense fog to win a race at Evangeline Downs.

Why should I smile? They’d be throwing things at me if I lost.

English jockey

This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.

horse racing trainer & commentator

My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

Eating will now be an entirely new ball game. I might have to buy a new pair of trousers.

English jockey

I played a great horse yesterday; it took seven horses to beat him.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

I backed a horse today at 20:1; it came in at twenty past four.

(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician

… riding a typical McCoy race where, with five lengths to go, he literally picks up the horse and carries it over the line.

British sports commentator

Horse racing is animated roulette.

(1927 – ) American author & baseball writer

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one; it didn't come in until half-past five.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

And there’s the unmistakable figure of Joe Mercer… or is it Lester Piggott.

British horse racing commentator

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