Keyword: Horse racing

Nobody ever committed suicide who had a good two-year-old in the barn.

Why should I smile? They’d be throwing things at me if I lost.

English jockey

My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

… riding a typical McCoy race where, with five lengths to go, he literally picks up the horse and carries it over the line.

British sports commentator

The trial began in Lake Charles, Louisiana of a jockey accused of hiding his horse in dense fog to win a race at Evangeline Downs.

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one; it didn't come in until half-past five.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.

horse racing trainer & commentator

And there’s the unmistakable figure of Joe Mercer… or is it Lester Piggott.

British horse racing commentator

I backed a horse today at 20:1; it came in at twenty past four.

(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician

Horse racing is animated roulette.

(1927 – ) American author & baseball writer

I played a great horse yesterday; it took seven horses to beat him.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

Eating will now be an entirely new ball game. I might have to buy a new pair of trousers.

English jockey

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian