Keyword: Laziness

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Like a bump on a log

He's too lazy to scratch his own ass.

If these walls could talk they’d be like ‘damn bitch, you’re back in bed again!?

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer

You are so lazy if you had a third hand, you’d need a third pocket to put it in.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

He wouldn’t holler sooey if the hogs was eatin’ em.

A loafer always has the correct time.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

When I was a child, what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid.

(1908 – 1999) English writer

Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

(1864 – 1910) French author

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

New Zealand writer

You ever get a new cell phone and you're too lazy to transfer all the numbers over, so you just stop being friends with a bunch of people?

stand-up comedian, writer & actor

Yeah, I'm kind of lazy… I'm dating a pregnant woman.


I should have suspected my husband was lazy; on our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

He’s so lazy he wouldn’t work in a pie factory.

Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten.

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