Keyword: Laziness

When I was a child, what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid.

(1908 – 1999) English writer

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

You ever look for the remote control and can’t find it, so you just decide, ‘Ah, it looks like I’m not watching TV.”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

You ever get a new cell phone and you're too lazy to transfer all the numbers over, so you just stop being friends with a bunch of people?

stand-up comedian, writer & actor

Yeah, I'm kind of lazy… I'm dating a pregnant woman.


He's too lazy to scratch his own ass.

Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten.

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

New Zealand writer

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

If these walls could talk they’d be like ‘damn bitch, you’re back in bed again!?

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer

He’s got molasses in his britches.

He’s so lazy, he’d marry a pregnant woman.

He’s so lazy he wouldn’t work in a pie factory.

Like a bump on a log

You are so lazy if you had a third hand, you’d need a third pocket to put it in.

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player

Laziness: The habit of resting before you get tired.

That boy wouldn’t work in a pie factory, afraid he’d get full and have to quit.

A loafer always has the correct time.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

(1864 – 1910) French author
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