Keyword: Management

Always keep the office door closed. This puts visitors on the defensive and also makes it look as if you are always in an important conference.

Strive to look tremendously important.

The inefficiency and stupidity of the staff corresponds to the inefficiency and stupidity of the management.

The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.

1. To get action out of management, it is necessary to create the illusion of a crisis in the hope it will be acted upon. 2. Management will select actions or events and convert them to crises. It will then over-react. 3. Management is incapable of recognizing a true crisis.

Bank failures are caused by depositors who don’t deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

Attempt to be seen with important people.

Kickbacks must always exceed bribes.

Speak with authority; however, expound only on the obvious and proven facts.

Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.

Management: A class of semi-skilled corporate hirelings whose rise within the organization correlates directly with the amount of work they delegate to their more-talented underlings.

A manager cannot tell if he is leading an innovative mob or being chased by it.

The first myth of management is that it exists.
The second myth of management is that success equals skill.
Corollary (Johnson) – Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within your organization.

There are two essential rules of management:
One: the customer is always right.
Two: they must be punished for their arrogance.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)

In any organization, the potential is much greater for the subordinate to manage his superior than for the superior to manage his subordinate.