Keyword: Rugby

Grandmother or tails, sir?

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

(1946 – ) English broadcaster

Rugby is a game for the mentally deficient… that is why it was invented by the British. Who else but an Englishman could invent an oval ball?

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian

In my time, I've had my knee out, broken my collarbone, had my nose smashed, a rib broken, lost a few teeth, and ricked my back; but as soon as I get a bit of bad luck I'm going to quit the game.

I wouldn’t play the French at marbles, never mind Rugby League. All we will ever learn off them is how to fight and spit and bite each other.

Rugby coach

All we need is a little bit of luck and we could explode.

British rugby coach

You don’t like to see hookers going down on players like that.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator

The tactical difference between Association Football and Rugby with its varieties seems to be that in the former, the ball is the missile, in the latter, men are the missiles

English schoolmaster, sexologist, anthropologist & sports journalist

The relationship between the Welsh and English is based on trust and understanding. They don’t trust us and we don’t understand them.

Rugby union secretary

It will now have to be called the Calcutta Shield.

Rugby League is war without the frills.

I think you enjoy the game more if you don't know the rules. Anyway, you're on the same wavelength as the referees.

Welsh rugby player

Colin Meads is the kind of player you expect to see emerging from a ruck with the remains of a jockstrap between his teeth.

Papua New Guinean rugby player

He’s looking for some meaningful penetration into the backline.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator

I've never scored a hat-trick before… not even playing against my sister in the yard at home.

Australian rugby player

I thought I would have a quiet pint … and about 17 noisy ones.

British rugby player

We’ve lost our last eight matches. The only team that we have beaten is Western Samoa. It’s a good job we didn’t play the whole of Samoa!

Welsh rugby player

Spencer’s running across field calling out, ‘Come inside me, come inside me.’

New Zealand rugby player & commentator

The pub is as much a part of rugby as is the playing field.

Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen; soccer is a gentlemen's game played by beasts; football is a beastly game played by beasts.

Everybody knows that I have been pumping Martin Leslie for a couple of seasons now.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator