Keyword: Shoes

If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

If it feels good, it’s ugly. If it looks good, it hurts.

I manufactured clown shoes… which was no small feat.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Always buy a good pair of shoes and a good bed – if you’re not in one you’re in the other.


I’m still trying to understand the wearing of high heels at the airport.

(1969 – ) American comedian & actor

If the shoe fits, it's too expensive.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

It is totally impossible to be well dressed in cheap shoes.

(1909 – 2003) English fashion designer

I was troubled by the presence of a shoe museum because it forced me to ask a very burning question: would my body be able to physically survive the amount of dope I would need to smoke in order to visit a shoe museum?

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.

American comedian

When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet, so I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Before he died my father told me he never really walked to school without any shoes.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian

I never put on a pair of shoes until I’ve worn them at least five years.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

Woman: I need shoes.

Al: Blacksmith's right around the corner.

(1946 – ) American actor

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist