Keyword: Speed

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.


Science/Weather

The speed of an oncoming vehicle is directly proportional to the length of the passing zone.

Activities Driving Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Remember folks, stop lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
Autos Science/Weather Things

Slow as Christmas

Miscellaneous

I put a new engine in my car, but I didn't take the other one out; now I can go 500 mph.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations Things

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Clothing Science/Weather

The speed of time is one second per second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Time

At 180 mph, when your front wheel wants to play pogo stick, you don't do nothing. You don't sneeze, you don't hiccup, you don't even breathe. All you do is point it and hang on.

American motorcycle racer
Auto racing Sports

The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

That was faster than green grass through a goose.

Miscellaneous

Maybe I’m lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Science/Weather Situations

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Auto racing Sports

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

I play the harmonica, but only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Music Things

If you change lines, the one you just left will start to move faster than the one you are now in.

Murphy’s Laws

Problem with [John] Wockenfuss getting on base is that it takes three doubles to score him.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations Things

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

I normally run the 40-yard dash in 4.9, but when a 280-pound guy is chasing me, I run it in 4.6.

American football player
Football Sports