Keyword: Stock market

The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Money

Anybody who plays the stock market not as an insider is like a man buying cows in the moonlight.

(1797 – 1879) American businessman & speculator
Activities Money

The main purpose of the stock market is to make fools of as many men as possible.

(1870 – 1965) businessman & politician
Money

The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing; it's called the stock market.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict Money

The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Activities

I got an E-Trade account… turns out I can turn $1,000 into $420 in less than a week.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Money

Stock Market: A popular game of chance in which moneyed speculators gamble with the nation’s economy, the object being to amass as much unearned income as possible before one’s fellow gamblers withdraw from the game and precipitate a nationwide depression.

Definitions Money

You might be a redneck if… you think the stock market has fence around it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

Peggy: I’m sitting on something!

Professor Quail: I lost mine in the stock market.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes