Keyword: Tattoos

What kind of tattoo would a librarian get?… ‘Books kick ass’?

American comedian
Books Communication Reading/Writing

His tattoos are like shit that you wrote on the cover of your notebook.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Insults Things

Women, that butterfly [tattoo] looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor.

(1869 – 1945) American actor
Appearance Body

I think it’s pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.

Appearance Body Places

You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80, it’s a picket fence.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old Young

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber’s calf, he would’ve never started Christianity.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled correctly.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
TV/Movie Quotes

I recently got a fake tattoo on my arm, which is cool. I got one of those iron-on kinds; it's real cheap, it's cool – it's a flaming skull inside a giant red burn mark.

(1972 – ) television producer, writer, voice actor, comedian & musician
Situations Things

You might be a redneck if… you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body People Rednecks

‘Homemade’ sounds much better when not referring to tattoos.

American comedian & actor
Appearance Body

I don't have any tattoos or piercings yet, but I do have a cold sore I've been ignoring.

(1959 – ) American comedian, actress & singer
Characteristics People Self

Pamela Lee said her name is tattooed on her husband's penis; which explains why she changed her name from Anderson to Lee.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Insults

I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only 2" taller.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

She’s a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
People Women

I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, OK, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Intelligence People Women