Keyword: Teachers

A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Education Occupations Sleep

School teachers are not fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday.

Education Occupations Work

They say you never forget your first school teacher, I had mine like 4 years in a row… I was dating her by the time I got out of that joint.

American actor & stand-up comedian
Education

Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, it was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

(1803 – 1869) French Romantic composer
Education Life Time

When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Education School Time

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Education School Science/Weather

I like to date school teachers; if you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Dating Sex

Those who cannot teach – administrate.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

I had a terrible education… I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Education School

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over?… movie day

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Education Entertainment Film

There’s always one teacher you had a crush on; for me, it’s my wife’s aerobics instructor.

comedian
Education Relationships

For those eight years Clinton was the president, it was like we had that really cool substitute teacher.

(1977 – ) American comedian
Education Government President

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Bushisms

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Education Misspokements Occupations

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Age Education School

The schoolteacher is certainly underpaid as a child-minder, but ludicrously overpaid as an educator.

(1929 – 1994) English playwright, screenwriter & actor
Education Occupations Work

After I failed my second test, I grabbed my teacher by the front of the shirt and said “Are you ‘trying’ to keep this shit a secret?”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Education School