Keyword: Theater

At dramatic rehearsals, the only author that's better than an absent one is a dead one.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist

In order to fully realize how bad a popular play can be, it is necessary to see it twice.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

If they'd stuffed the child's head up the horse's arse, they would have solved two problems at once.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Opening night: The night before the play is ready to open.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor

I understand your new play is full of single entendres.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist

Two things should be cut – the second act and the child's throat.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

All through the five acts of that Shakespearean tragedy he played the King as though under momentary apprehension that someone else was about to play the Ace.

(1850 – 1895) American writer

Shut up Arnold, or I’ll direct this play the way you wrote it!

(1925 – 1990) English theatre, opera & film director

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist

Hook and Ladder is the sort of play that gives failures a bad name.

(1913 – 1996) writer & Broadway theater critic

The audience would have booed and hissed after the first act, but you can't do that and yawn at the same time.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances…. the curtain was up.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist

For a director, a musical is a special kind of hell.

(1931 – 2014) German-born American director, producer, actor & comedian

My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

You can make a killing in the theatre, but not a living.

The only thing I didn’t like about The Barretts of Wimpole Street was the play.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

There was laughter at the back of the theater, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist

Long experience has taught me that in England nobody goes to the theater unless he or she has bronchitis.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic

You know, I go to the theatre to be entertained… I don’t want to see plays about rape, sodomy and drug addiction… I can get all that at home.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian

You can make a killing in the theater, but not a living.

(1917 – 2009) American playwright, screenwriter & theater producer

Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.

(1921 – 2000) comedian, television host, musician, actor & writer