Keyword: Therapy

After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes… he said, "No hablo Ingles."

comedian

After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, “Maybe life isn’t for everyone.”

(1940 – ) American basketball coach

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor

I went to counseling, spent $5,000 to have two women call me a loser.

(1957 – ) American comedian

I’m even in denial about the fact that I’m in therapy; I’ve just convinced myself there’s a friend that I see once a week, and then I lend her $90, and she never pays me back.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host

The only difference between group sex and group therapy is that in group therapy you hear about everyone's problems and in group sex you see them.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality

You sit there and you talk about yourself for an hour straight, and the other person listens to everything you say; it's like I'm the guy on a date.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host

I like to call therapy “baggage claim.”

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress