Umpires | Just-One-Liners.com

Keyword: Umpires

Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is… well, an umpire.

Ron Luciano

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out.

Larry Goetz

American baseball umpire

Baseball People Sports Women Umpires

The first guy who lays a finger on this blind old man is fined fifty bucks!

Gene Mauch

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager

Baseball Sports Umpires When his players rushed an umpire to dispute a call

I occasionally get birthday cards from fans, but it's often the same message… they hope it's my last.

Al Forman

American baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Umpires

It ain't nuthin' until I call it.

Bill Klem

American baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Umpires

Being an umpire is like being a king… it prepares you for nothing.

Ron Luciano

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Umpires

They expect an umpire to be perfect on opening day and to improve as the season goes on.

Nestor Chylak

American baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Umpires

Throwing people out of a game is like learning to ride a bicycle – once you get the hang of it, it can be a lot of fun.

Ron Luciano

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Umpires

Any umpire who lasts five years in the minor leagues deserves to be immortalized; any umpire who lasts ten or more years in the minors deserves to be institutionalized.

Ron Luciano

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Minor leagues Umpires

Many fans look upon an umpire as a necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile.

Christy Matthewson

American baseball pitcher

Baseball Sports Umpires

The toughest call an umpire has to make is not the half-swing; the toughest call is throwing a guy out of the game after you blew the hell out of the play.

Johnny Rice

American baseball umpire

Baseball Mistakes Problems Sports Umpires

Some of ours [umpires] is so crooked that they can lay in a berth only when the train’s making a curve.

Ring Lardner

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer

Baseball Beliefs Sports Dishonesty Umpires

Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.

Jerry Coleman

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

Baseball Misspokements Sports Umpires

When I am right, no one remembers. When I am wrong, no one forgets.

Doug Harvey

American baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Umpires

Umpire's heaven is a place where he works third base every game; home is where the heartache is.

Ron Luciano

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Heaven Umpires

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Keyword: Umpires

Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is… well, an umpire.

In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out.

The first guy who lays a finger on this blind old man is fined fifty bucks!

I occasionally get birthday cards from fans, but it's often the same message… they hope it's my last.

It ain't nuthin' until I call it.

Being an umpire is like being a king… it prepares you for nothing.

They expect an umpire to be perfect on opening day and to improve as the season goes on.

Throwing people out of a game is like learning to ride a bicycle – once you get the hang of it, it can be a lot of fun.

Any umpire who lasts five years in the minor leagues deserves to be immortalized; any umpire who lasts ten or more years in the minors deserves to be institutionalized.

Many fans look upon an umpire as a necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile.

The toughest call an umpire has to make is not the half-swing; the toughest call is throwing a guy out of the game after you blew the hell out of the play.

Some of ours [umpires] is so crooked that they can lay in a berth only when the train’s making a curve.

Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.

When I am right, no one remembers. When I am wrong, no one forgets.

Umpire's heaven is a place where he works third base every game; home is where the heartache is.