Keyword: Water

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Beliefs Proverbs

I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Things

Droughts are because God didn’t pay his water bill.


God

In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air.

(1942 – ) British travel writer & novelist
Murphy’s Laws Places

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?… try spelling Evian backward.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Money People

You can’t trust water: even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Characteristics Things

I never drink water; I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics

I never drink water; that’s the stuff that rusts pipes.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Body People

A lot of people like snow, but I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.

(1922 – ) actor, film director, producer, writer & comedian
Science/Weather

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air.

Murphy’s Laws Places

I never drink water… fish f**k in it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex

There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Alcohol Health Misspokements Sports

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems