Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… he who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.

Confucius say… man who is basketball player dribbles before he shoots.

Confucius say… chicken is result of a sitting hen, while a baby is the result of standing cock.

Confucius say… beauty is only a light switch away.

Confucius say… woman who spend much time on bedspring, may get offspring.

Confucius say… if you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

Confucius say… gypsies got no babies because gypsies have crystal balls.

Confucius say… man who wish to make headlines should sleep on corduroy pillow.

Confucius say… who mix Viagra and Ex-Lax, doesn't know if he's coming or going.

Confucius say… man with forked tongue not need chop sticks.

Confucius say… vagina is like a very small hotel… one must leave his bag outside.

Confucius say… squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man lay on crack and rock nuts.

Confucius say… man who suck woman's tit make clean breast of things.

Confucius say… before giving someone a piece of your mind, make sure you have enough to spare.

Confucius say… woman like dollar bill; hard to pickup, but worth effort.

Confucius say… gay gentleman from the Deep South is called a homo-sex-y'all.

Confucius say… practical nurse is one who marries a wealthy, terminally ill patient.

Confucius say… woman who come to bed wearing nothing but running shoes, wants to have marathon session.

Confucius say… he who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.

Confucius say… butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.

Confucius say… Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.