Author: Paul Lynde Page 3

Peter Marshall: Elizabeth Taylor recently stated, “It wasn’t easy.” And hubby Richard Burton added, “But we both sleep much better.” They were both talking about the same thing. What?

Paul Lynde: Separate bedrooms.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Now listen carefully, Paul. If you have one it’s a moose. If you have two, it’s a….?

Paul Lynde: It’s a mess!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Who was known as “Old Blood and Guts?”

Paul Lynde: Barbara Stanwyck.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In ancient times, after a battle, the losers would present the winners with a handful of grass.  What did this symbolize?

Paul Lynde: The losers were Mexican!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… in the recent world kissing contest in England, two contestants were disqualified when they got too passionate?

Paul Lynde: But they went on to win in three other categories.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’ve gone from egg, to larvae, to pupae. What’s next?

Paul Lynde: A shave and a shower and off to work!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Burt Reynolds is quoted as saying, “Dinah (Shore)’s in top form. I’ve never known anyone to be so completely able to throw herself into a…” A what?

Paul Lynde: A headboard.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Modern science can’t really explain why, but if you go outside at night, stand on your head, and stare at the full moon, you will notice something unusual. What?

Paul Lynde: Yes, in eight seconds, rain will fill up your nose.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the French Chef, Julia Child, how much is a pinch?

Paul Lynde: Just enough to turn her on.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You're on a yacht, and you're seasick.  According to Emily Post, should you tell your host?

Paul Lynde: No, let him find out for himself.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul,Zsa Zsa Gabor says she never ever swims with her face in the water. Why?

Paul Lynde: It clogs the drain.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When Richard Nixon was Vice-President, he went someplace on a “good will mission,” but instead wound up being stoned and shouted at. Where did this take place?

Paul Lynde: Pat’s room.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: It used to be called “9-pin.” What’s it called today?

Paul Lynde: Foreplay!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A recent navy picture had Admiral Zumwalt kissing Admiral Duirk. Why?

Paul Lynde: Too long at sea!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The average child in China learns how to do it at age three. The average child in America never learns. What?

Paul Lynde: How to pull a rickshaw.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Imagine you are a child in your mother’s womb, can you detect light?

Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Pride, anger, covetousness, lust, gluttony, envy, and sloth are collectively known as what?

Paul Lynde: The Bill of Rights.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Ann Landers recently wrote a book titled “How To Tell The Difference Between Love And…” what?

Paul Lynde: A kidney infection.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, you have a 9 year old son who constantly wets the bed.  What should you do?

Paul Lynde:  Get rid of him! 

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If the right part comes along, will George C. Scott do a nude scene?

Paul Lynde: You mean he doesn’t have the right part?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… a shipment of the Pill was recently recalled because they were actually sugar pills.

Paul Lynde: Does this mean all of the babies born in November will have pimples?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares