Keyword: Speed

I normally run the 40-yard dash in 4.9, but when a 280-pound guy is chasing me, I run it in 4.6.

American football player
Football Sports

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations Things

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong – but that’s the way to bet.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports

The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Communication Science/Weather

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Science/Weather

I put a new engine in my car, but I didn't take the other one out; now I can go 500 mph.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations Things

At 180 mph, when your front wheel wants to play pogo stick, you don't do nothing. You don't sneeze, you don't hiccup, you don't even breathe. All you do is point it and hang on.

American motorcycle racer
Auto racing Sports

The speed of exit of a civil servant is directly proportional to the quality of his service.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Work

Maybe I have lost a step, but I had a few to lose.

professional football player
Football Sports

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Auto racing Sports

One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less the staff has to do, the slower they do it.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Science/Weather

Slow as an iron toad

Miscellaneous

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Clothing Science/Weather

Going fast while you are lost won't help a bit.

Science/Weather Situations

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals

Remember folks, stop lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
Autos Science/Weather Things

That was faster than green grass through a goose.

Miscellaneous

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather