Keyword: Umpires

I occasionally get birthday cards from fans, but it's often the same message… they hope it's my last.

American baseball umpire

Many fans look upon an umpire as a necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile.

American baseball pitcher

Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is… well, an umpire.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

It ain't nuthin' until I call it.

American baseball umpire

They expect an umpire to be perfect on opening day and to improve as the season goes on.

American baseball umpire

The first guy who lays a finger on this blind old man is fined fifty bucks!

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager

Any umpire who lasts five years in the minor leagues deserves to be immortalized; any umpire who lasts ten or more years in the minors deserves to be institutionalized.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out.

American baseball umpire

The toughest call an umpire has to make is not the half-swing; the toughest call is throwing a guy out of the game after you blew the hell out of the play.

American baseball umpire

Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

Some of ours [umpires] is so crooked that they can lay in a berth only when the train’s making a curve.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer

Being an umpire is like being a king… it prepares you for nothing.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Umpire's heaven is a place where he works third base every game; home is where the heartache is.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Throwing people out of a game is like learning to ride a bicycle – once you get the hang of it, it can be a lot of fun.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

When I am right, no one remembers. When I am wrong, no one forgets.

American baseball umpire