Random One-Liners

Plagiarism: Failure to adorn stolen ideas with footnotes, as opposed to scholarship, which repeatedly acknowledges the theft.

Definitions Ideas Reading/Writing

Strip the phony tinsel off Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Hollywood Places

I was there when I said it.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Misspokements

I'll snatch you baldheaded.

Miscellaneous

I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Health Old Things

Egotism: Usually a case of mistaken nonentity.

(1907 – 1990) American actress
Characteristics Self

I’ll tie a knot in yer tail

Miscellaneous

May you come to the attention of the authorities.

Government Proverbs

Out of the frying pan, into a handbasket.

Mixed metaphors

I took a girl out on a date the other night and I knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere sexually, you know, because I was out of chloroform and rags.

(1961 – ) American actor & comedian
Dating Sex

Crack Found On Governor's Daughter

Headlines

County Officials to Talk Rubbish

Headlines

Scientists: All Men Look at Porn

Headlines

I got a big charge out of seeing Ted Williams hit. Once in a while they let me try to field some of them, which sort of dimmed my enthusiasm.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball Sports

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

History Murphy’s Laws Time

I was like a pig with a wristwatch.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Teenager Held Over Shredder

Headlines

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice… prepare to die.

Proverbs

I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.

cartoon character in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (Kathleen Turner)
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

After-Dinner Speaker: A fellow who rises to the occasion – and then stands too long.

Definitions

Why? I'm right at the height of the rifles.

(1814 – 1861) Mexican lawyer, scientist & liberal politician
Last words