Subject: Epitaphs (Page 14)

Here lies Thomas Smith and what is somewhat rareish, he was born bred and hanged in this e’er parish.

Epitaphs

Here I lie at the chancel door – And I lie here because I am poor; – For the farther in the more you pay, – But here I lie as warm as they.

Epitaphs

Here lies my twins as dead as nits, One died of fever the other of fits.

Epitaphs

The body of Benjamin Franklin, printer like the coyer of an old book its contents torn out and stripped of its lettering and gilding, lies here food for worms. – Yet the work itself shall not be lost for it will, as he believed, appear once more in a new and more beautiful edition corrected and amended by the author.

Epitaphs

Tears cannot restore her –– therefore I weep.

Epitaphs

Don't worry, I'm merely catching up with sleep.

Epitaphs Situations Sleep

Little Johnny had a purple monkey, climbing up a yellow stick, little Johnny licked the purple paint of and it made him deathly sick. They stirred him up with calomel, they tried to move his liver, but all in vain, his little soul was wafted o'er the River.

Epitaphs

Here lies one who never lied before. And one who never will lie More. To which there need be no More said.

Epitaphs

Poor Martha Snell, she's gone away. She would if she could, but she could not stay; she'd two bad legs, and a baddish cough, but her legs it was that carried her off.

Epitaphs

Here lies Scott Jacobson – Who came upon an evil lich, he didn't even think to run, and ended up in this ditch

Epitaphs

He who dies with the most toys wins

Epitaphs

Here lies interr'd a man o' micht, they ca'd him Malcolm Downie; he lost his life ae market night, by fa'ing aff his pownie. [pony] Aged 37 Years.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Elred. At least he will be when he is dead. But now at this time he's still alive, 14th August '65.

Epitaphs

Rich born, rich bred, yet Fate adverse, his wealth and fortune did reverse. He lived and died immensely poor, July the tenth aged ninety-four.

Epitaphs

Here richly, with ridiculous display, The Politician's corpse was laid away. While all of his acquaintance sneered and slanged, I wept: for I had longed to see him hanged.

Epitaphs

Here lies entombed one Roger Morton, whose sudden death was early brought on; trying one day his corn to mow off, the razor slipped and cut his toe off. The toe, or rather what it grew to, an inflammation quickly flew to; the parts they took to mortifying, And poor dear Roger took to dying.

Epitaphs

Here lies England's premier baron, – Patiently awaiting the last trump.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Johnny Haskell, A lying, thieving, cheating rascal; He always lied, and now he lies, He has no soul and cannot rise.

Epitaphs

Here lieth father Sparges, who died to save charges.

Epitaphs

In memory of Richard Fothergill, who met vierlent death near this spot 18 hundred and 40 too. He was shot by his own pistill. It was not one of the new kind; but an old fashioned brass barrell. Of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Mary Morgan. Like the morning dew she glistened, exhaled, and went to heaven.

Epitaphs