Subject: Death » Last words

Last words:

Humorous, ironic, satirical or just plain odd last words

I am just going outside. I may be some time.

(1880 – 1912) English Antarctic explorer

I remember what my grandmother said to me on her deathbed: She said: ‘I wish I’d bought a normal bed.’

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor

I wish I was skiing.
Nurse: Oh, Mr. Laurel, do you ski?
No, but I’d rather be skiing than doing what I’m doing.

(1890 – 1965) English comic actor, writer & director (of Laurel & Hardy)

Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough!

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist

Please put out the light.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president

Now I will show you how an Italian dies!

(1968 – 2004) Italian security officer

On the contrary!

(1828 – 1906) Norwegian playwright, theatre director & poet

Enough already.

(1915 – 2004) American novelist

How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?

(1810 – 1891) American showman, businessman, entertainer & circus founder

That’s good. Go on, read some more.

(1865 – 1923) 29th U.S. President

Well, this is certainly a pleasant surprise.

American mobster

Drink to me, drink to my health; you know I can’t drink any more.

(1881 – 1973) Spanish painter, sculptor, printmaker & stage designer

It’s all been rather lovely.

(1912 – 1983) English actor

One last drink, please.

(1846 – 1911) American distiller

I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.


What is the time? Never mind, it’s not important…

(1817 – 1882) Hungarian journalist, writer, poet & translator

Let’s be wild tonight.

(1920 – 1939) Finnish actress

And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, “A truck!”

(1956 – ) American comedian

Don’t be in such a hurry.

(1915 – 1959) American jazz singer & songwriter

Well, now I must go to meet God and try to explain all those men I killed at Alamein.

(1887 – 1976) British Army officer

A king should die standing.

(1755 – 1824) King of France