Subject: Definitions

Definitions:

Humorous definitions, often through the use of puns or wordplay

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Politician: One who is willing to do anything on earth for the workers except become one.

Definitions Government Politicians

Good Neighbor: A fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb it.

Definitions

Connoisseur: One who attains an obsessive knowledge of wines, audio equipment, cats or French cheeses so as to confer a sense of inadequacy on those who would simply enjoy them.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Sense Of Humor: Being able to laugh at your friends’ misfortunes.

Definitions Emotions

Cemetery: An isolated spot, usually in a suburb, where mourners swap lies.

Definitions

Spinster: An unlusted number.

Definitions People Women

Courtesy: The art of yawning with your mouth closed.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Tact: The art of saying nothing when there is nothing to say. 

Definitions

Jury: A group of 12 people, who, having lied to the judge about their health, hearing, and business engagements, have failed to fool him.

Definitions

Sales Resistance: The triumph of mind over patter.

Definitions

Agent: Someone who believes an actor takes 85 percent of his money.

Acting Definitions Entertainment

Year: The exact length of time that will pass from the day you get married to the day you forget your first anniversary.

Definitions Marriage Time

Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.

Communication Definitions

Neurotic: Someone who worries about things that didn’t happen in the past instead of worrying about things that won’t happen in the future.

Definitions People

Definition of a Jewish nymphomaniac: A woman who will make love the same day she has her hair done.

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian
Definitions Sex Women

Hey, watch this!

Death Definitions Last words

Brain: The apparatus with which we think we think.

Body Definitions

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two being goulash and squid.

Definitions Food/Drink

Forger: A man who is always ready to write a wrong.

Definitions

Pessimist: A person who looks at a doughnut and sees nothing but the hole.

Definitions