Subject: Definitions

Definitions:

Humorous definitions, often through the use of puns or wordplay

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Faith: Not wanting to know what is true.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Beliefs Definitions

Liberal: One who tolerates all beliefs and opinions except those with which he disagrees.

Beliefs Definitions

Taxpayer: One who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.

Definitions Government Taxes Work

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Appearance Body Definitions

Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions

Abash: A high school graduation party.

Definitions

Armor: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

Clothing Definitions

Automatic: If something is automatic, that simple means that you can’t repair it yourself.

Definitions Murphy’s Laws Problems

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Beliefs Definitions People

Teenagers: Those old enough to know everything.

Age Definitions

Clergyman: A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of bettering his temporal ones.

Definitions Occupations

Rumor: A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Budget: A family quarrel.

Definitions

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Things

Heir Cut: Disinheritance.

Definitions

Anatomy: A class that sounds vaguely risqué until you find out what it really involves.

Body Definitions Education School

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies

Desertion: The poor man’s divorce.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

Punctuality: The art of guessing correctly how late the other party is going to be.

Definitions Time

Peeping Tom: A window fan.

Definitions Wordplay