Reviews/Criticism | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Reviews/Criticism

Reviews/Criticism:

Biting reviews and criticism of film, theater, television, music, books etc. 

The play holds the season’s record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinée… by an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.

Dorothy Parker

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Reviews/Criticism In a review

Purists, be warned: This scare-flick quickie [House of Wax] has as much relation to the 1953 Vincent Price classic with the same title as Paris Hilton does to acting.

Peter Travers

American film critic & televison interviewer

Insults Reviews/Criticism “House of Wax”

If I ever do a festival of films that deserve to be overlooked, Friends & Lovers is my opening night selection.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Friends and Lovers”

Dragging your boyfriend/husband to this movie will give him the leverage to demand multiple screenings of Jerry Bruckheimer films as penance. Ladies, you have been warned.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Must Love Dogs”

I can sum it up like this: no boobs, no blood, no point. Walk away from this one please!

Beth Accomando

film critic

Reviews/Criticism “The Roommate”

If I were married to her, I’d be sure to have dinner ready when she got home.

George Schultz

(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman

People Reviews/Criticism About Margaret Thatcher

She stopped the show – but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

Noel Coward

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Acting Communication Entertainment Reviews/Criticism Theater

Perhaps it was made by beings from another planet, who were able to watch our television in order to absorb key concepts such as cars, sex, leukemia, and casinos, but formed an imperfect view of how to fit them together.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Breaking the Rules”

You can actually hear the writers pulling ideas out of their butts and flinging them willy-nilly at the screen.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian”

This film sucks on a level I can scarcely describe.

Rob Vaux

writer, editor & film reviewer

Reviews/Criticism “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance”

I went into the Plymouth Theater a comparatively young woman, and I staggered out of it three hours later, twenty years older, haggard and broken with suffering.

Dorothy Parker

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Reviews/Criticism Of Tolstoy’s “Redemption” Theater

Young men: If you attend this crap with friends who admire it, tactfully inform them they are idiots. Young women: If your date likes this movie, tell him you’ve been thinking it over, and you think you should consider spending some time apart.

Roger Ebert

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter

Reviews/Criticism “Battle: Los Angeles”

I like Wagner’s music better than anybody’s; it is so loud that one can talk the whole time without people hearing what one says.

Oscar Wilde

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism Richard Wagner

This movie is the definition of a dud, something that just sits inert on screen.

Devin Faraci

film critic

Reviews/Criticism “Cowboys & Aliens”

A totally stupid movie, Star Trek Into Darkness falls apart as it goes, raining debris as it implodes like a building being demolished.

Devin Faraci

film critic

Reviews/Criticism “Star Trek Into Darkness”

I am sitting in the smallest room of my house; I have your review before me… in a moment it shall be behind me.

Max Reger

(1873 – 1916) German composer, conductor, pianist & teacher

Insults Reviews/Criticism Letter to critic Rudolph Louis

There is some serious venom spewing from this movie, probably because screenwriters Steve Franks and Tim Herlihy are beginning to realize their only talent in life consists of riding their friend’s coattails through the Garden of Mediocrity.

Mr. Cranky

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

Reviews/Criticism “Big Daddy”

Two hours of looking up at Marlon Brando's butt cheeks squashed flat against a glass tabletop would have been a preferable to this werewolf masterpiece.

Mr. Cranky

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

Reviews/Criticism “Bad Moon”

“House Beautiful” is the play lousy.

Dorothy Parker

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Reviews/Criticism On a theater marquee The play “House Beautiful”

Think of Cowboys & Aliens as the wet spot on your mattress after a night of questionable passion. Everyone knows who made the wet spot, but no one wants to own up to it.

Mr. Cranky

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)

Reviews/Criticism “Cowboys & Aliens”

Red Tails is a lousy film. Not wincingly bad, mind you, just mediocre.

James Adams

film critic

Reviews/Criticism “Red Tails”

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Subject: Reviews/Criticism

The play holds the season’s record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinée… by an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.

Purists, be warned: This scare-flick quickie [House of Wax] has as much relation to the 1953 Vincent Price classic with the same title as Paris Hilton does to acting.

If I ever do a festival of films that deserve to be overlooked, Friends & Lovers is my opening night selection.

Dragging your boyfriend/husband to this movie will give him the leverage to demand multiple screenings of Jerry Bruckheimer films as penance. Ladies, you have been warned.

I can sum it up like this: no boobs, no blood, no point. Walk away from this one please!

If I were married to her, I’d be sure to have dinner ready when she got home.

She stopped the show – but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

Perhaps it was made by beings from another planet, who were able to watch our television in order to absorb key concepts such as cars, sex, leukemia, and casinos, but formed an imperfect view of how to fit them together.

You can actually hear the writers pulling ideas out of their butts and flinging them willy-nilly at the screen.

This film sucks on a level I can scarcely describe.

I went into the Plymouth Theater a comparatively young woman, and I staggered out of it three hours later, twenty years older, haggard and broken with suffering.

Young men: If you attend this crap with friends who admire it, tactfully inform them they are idiots. Young women: If your date likes this movie, tell him you’ve been thinking it over, and you think you should consider spending some time apart.

I like Wagner’s music better than anybody’s; it is so loud that one can talk the whole time without people hearing what one says.

This movie is the definition of a dud, something that just sits inert on screen.

A totally stupid movie, Star Trek Into Darkness falls apart as it goes, raining debris as it implodes like a building being demolished.

I am sitting in the smallest room of my house; I have your review before me… in a moment it shall be behind me.

There is some serious venom spewing from this movie, probably because screenwriters Steve Franks and Tim Herlihy are beginning to realize their only talent in life consists of riding their friend’s coattails through the Garden of Mediocrity.

Two hours of looking up at Marlon Brando's butt cheeks squashed flat against a glass tabletop would have been a preferable to this werewolf masterpiece.

“House Beautiful” is the play lousy.

Think of Cowboys & Aliens as the wet spot on your mattress after a night of questionable passion. Everyone knows who made the wet spot, but no one wants to own up to it.

Red Tails is a lousy film. Not wincingly bad, mind you, just mediocre.