Subject: Reviews/Criticism

Reviews/Criticism:

Biting reviews and criticism of film, theater, television, music, books etc.


It [Heaven’s Gate] fails so completely that you might suspect Michael Cimino sold his soul to the Devil to obtain the success of the Deer Hunter, and the Devil has just come around to collect.

(1924 – 2000) American film critic
Reviews/Criticism

Loved Ben, hated Hur.

Reviews/Criticism

The only thing I didn’t like about The Barretts of Wimpole Street was the play.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism

If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

They inculcate the morals of a whore and the manners of a dancing master.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Communication Reviews/Criticism

The Road to Wellville… is basically a… production of a Benny Hill episode.

American film critic
Reviews/Criticism

If you kiss in front of a sunset just before the climax, and then try to talk down four suicide bombers, cinematic mathematics require you to die. It’s in the numbers.

(1977 – ) British television presenter
Reviews/Criticism

Not as fun as Survivor but essential to the Republic.

American television critic
Reviews/Criticism

I've been reviewing movies for a long time, and I can't think of one that more dramatically shoots itself in the foot.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

The man who can’t dance thinks the band is no good.

Dance Proverbs Reviews/Criticism

Since the scenes where they're together are so much less convincing than the ones where they fall apart, watching the movie is like being on a double-date from hell.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

It would kill a cat and turn rocks into scrambled eggs.

(1913 – 1975) American actor
Reviews/Criticism

The Good, The Bad and the Elderly

musician & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

It’s obvious that nobody believed in this project longer than it took for the check to clear.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Reviews/Criticism

Elliot Gould!? What, were George Segal and Ryan ONeal unavailable? Was it “free cheese day” at the celebrity shelter?

American film critic
Reviews/Criticism

There’s not a scene… that isn’t awful.

American writer & film critic
Reviews/Criticism

Unfortunately, all Coach Carter taught me was that I can actually scratch the first four verses of Revelations into the back of a theater chair with my fingernail in a little under two hours.

(movie reviews at mrcranky.com)
Miscellaneous Reviews/Criticism

Last year, I reviewed a nine-hour documentary about the lives of Mongolian yak herdsmen, and I would rather see it again than sit through The Frighteners.

(1942 – 2013) American film critic, journalist & screenwriter
Reviews/Criticism

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels; I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Books Insults Reviews/Criticism

If Elysium is an example of how recession-era Hollywood intends to dramatize the rift between the haves and the have-nots, let’s hope the studios don’t also bring back Smell-O-Rama.

film reviewer & critic
Reviews/Criticism

Heaven sends us good meat, but the Dieil sends cooks.


Reviews/Criticism