Subject: Appearance

That guy has muscles in places most people don't have places.

American basketball broadcaster
Appearance Basketball Body Sports

I was getting dressed and a peeping Tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

When I answer the door the kids hand ME candy.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self Situations Ugly

Oh my God, look at you; anyone else hurt in the accident?

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Insults

I don’t think George Clooney has a bathroom mirror, just a note taped to the wall that says “Don’t worry about it.”

comedian
Appearance Body People

He looked like a half-melted rubber bulldog.

(1925 – ) American author and literary, theater & film critic
Appearance Insults

The reason women don’t play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Clothing Football Sports

Every time I see you naked I feel bad for your wife.

Czech hockey player
Appearance Body Hockey Sports

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it; I said, ‘Thyroid problems?’

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Clothing

She looks like something that would eat its young.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Appearance Insults

You might be a redneck if… your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Clothing People Rednecks

Some men climb mountains, others date ‘em!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

She is so ugly… when she goes swimming the tide goes out.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I just accept them as a great accessory to every outfit.

(1979 – ) American actress
Appearance Body Clothing

A lady is one who never shows her underwear… unintentionally.

(1893 – 1991) novelist, biographer & playwright
Appearance Characteristics Clothing

It's got lots of installation.

Appearance Clothing Malaprops

Gal reminds me of the highway between Forth Worth and Dallas – no curves.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

You might be a redneck if… three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age Appearance Old People Women

When I was pregnant, my friends sneered: ‘Eating for two, are we?’… I said, get lost, I’m not cutting down.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Eating Food/Drink

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports