Subject: TV/Movie Quotes

TV/Movie Quotes:

Humorous lines from television, film and fictional characters
                         (click on name for more quotes by that character)

It took me two weeks to find Stella’s apartment. She had neglected to give me her address.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

If that kid don't stop talkin' so much he'll get his tongue sunburned.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Speech TV/Movie Quotes

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you… he really is an idiot.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Ed: You want to take a dinghy?

Drebin: No, I took care of that at the press conference.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication Language Situations TV/Movie Quotes

Is that a ten-gallon hat [resting on a cowboy's lap] or are you just enjoying the show?

(1942 – 1999) American actress
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Greg, Honey, is it supposed to be this soft?

(1953 – ) American model & actress
TV/Movie Quotes

Certainly I’m innocent, Edith… but of what?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
TV/Movie Quotes

You should’ve seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Patsy: Well, what am I supposed to do if you die?

Edina: Get cabs!

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Driving TV/Movie Quotes

Mr. West, not every situation requires your patented approach of shoot first, shoot later, shoot some more and then when everybody’s dead, try to ask a question or two.

(1947 – ) American stage & screen actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at storks.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

So many assholes… so few bullets…

(1957 – ) American comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Dr. Frankenstein: What knockers! (referring to giant door knockers)

Inge: Oh, thank you, Doctor.

(1944 – ) American actress & dancer
TV/Movie Quotes

Tell ’em we’re all decreased – we went last night in a suicide pact.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.

(1957 – ) American comedian & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

So what’s this Vivian got that you don’t have? Three tits?

(1961 – ) American actress & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Of course the Soviet Union was bound to fall! It's on the edge of the map!

(1971 – ) American actress
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

The last mosquito that bit me had to book in to the Betty Ford clinic.

(1946 – ) English actress, model & author
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

V-D Day

(1923 – 2013) American actress
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

You know, if I wanted somebody halfheartedly patting my groin without eye contact, I’d get married.

(1973 – ) American comedian, actor & television host
TV/Movie Quotes