Subject: Communication

The musician who invented Swing ought to.

Communication Entertainment Music

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Communication Wordplay

George Moore wrote excellent English until he discovered grammar.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Language Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Animals Communication

I must tell you that the supply of words on the world market is plentiful, but the demand is falling.

(1943 – ) Polish trade-union organizer, human-rights activist & president
Communication

There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
Books Communication Reviews/Criticism

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Failure Success Wordplay

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on me?

comedian, commentator, radio host, reporter & writer
Computers Language Sex Things

Clichés: Fixtures of speech.

Definitions Language

The Chinese food in China is not better than the Chinese food here, mostly because of differences of definitions of words that we have – like, for example, 'beef.'

(1960 – ) American comedian
Communication Definitions Food/Drink Language

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Self Wordplay

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

(1844 – 1924) French novelist
Communication Intelligence Speech

I can read minds but, it’s pointless cause I’m illiterate.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

The original Mickey Mouse cartoon was in Mouse, with English subtitles.

comedian
Communication Entertainment Language

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Communication

Blessed is he who talks in circles, for he shall become a big wheel.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Communication Speech Success

If “con” is the opposite of "pro," then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Congress Government Language

Woman: I've made a bet with a friend that I can get you to say at least three words this evening. What do you say to that?

Coolidge’s reply: You lose.

(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president
Communication Speech

Memos to Shitty People

Book Titles Communication

The play was a great success, but the audience was a disaster.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Entertainment Reviews/Criticism

Interpreter: A ventriloquist using two dummies.

Communication Definitions Language