Subject: TV/Movie Quotes

TV/Movie Quotes:

Humorous lines from television, film and fictional characters
                         (click on name for more quotes by that character)

Lemon merinj pie.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

I don’t know whether to eat from the coat or the plate!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

(1937 – ) Welsh actor & composer

Diane: He’s trying to make a mountain out of a molehill.

Carla: He wants you to wear a padded bra?

(1948 – ) American actress

Between here and Florida, ya got your original 48 states.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Ted Baxter: Mary, do you know what Sue Ann takes home every week?

Mary Richards: Three sailors, a tree surgeon and the boy in the mailroom.

(1936 – 2017) American actress

I say that dog is lower than a snake full of buckshot.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)

A drinking contest?!? What am I, 12… and at my boyfriend's frat party?!

(1968 – ) American actress & singer

Diane: Over my dead body.

Sam: Hey, don’t bring last night into this.

(1947) is an American actor, author & producer

At first I thought he was walking a dog… then I realized it was his date.

(1918 – 1984) American actress & singer

I’m due at the ballet. They’re doin’ Swoon Lake.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

I’m glad for your gratification.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Al, you're meddling with powers which, like a woman's body, you know nothing about.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter

Just sit through this NRA meeting Marge, and if you still don't think guns are great then we'll argue some more.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

I ain't gonna eat this food with these Chink pick-up sticks.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Morticia: When we first met years ago, it was an evening much like this. Magic in the air. A boy.
Gomez: A girl.
Morticia: An open grave. It was my first funeral.
Gomez: You were so beautiful. Pale and mysterious. No one even looked at the corpse.

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor

Luna: So then, what do you believe in?

Miles: Sex and death – two things that come once in a lifetime… but at least after death, you're not nauseous.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I think I've figured this balloon thing out, Marge. It can go up and down, but not side to side or back in time.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Bob Porter: Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.

(1967 – ) American actor

In the words of Harry S. Truman: If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

So many assholes… so few bullets…

(1957 – ) American comedian & actor