Subject: Appearance

My friend George is weird because he has false teeth, but he has braces on them.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

Men still die with their boots on, but usually one boot is on the accelerator.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Accidents Autos Clothing Death Problems

I don’t really like knees.

(1936 – 2008) French fashion designer
Appearance Body

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Appearance Body Characteristics

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

Age Appearance Old Signs

His favorite exercise is climbing tall people.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body People

Some people say George Foreman is fit as a fiddle, but I think he looks more like a cello.

(1922 – ) boxing trainer & manager
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

That woman's had her face lifted so many times that whenever she raises her eyebrows she pulls up her stockings.

Appearance Body

(He’s) is wearing his hair differently this year, short and with curls like Randy Jones wears… I think you call it a Frisbee.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Appearance Hair Misspokements

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Appearance Body Death Eating Life Proverbs

He's had so many face-lifts, his face has moved to the top of his head, you have to get on a step-ladder to watch him lie!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Insults

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Clothing Communication Lies Truth World

She is so ugly… when she goes swimming the tide goes out.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

(1952 – ) comedian
Appearance Body Men People Women

You’re welcome to take a bath; you look like the second week of the garbage strike.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Appearance

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin; that, or a kick-ass red lipstick.

(1972 – ) American actress
Appearance

I'm kinda stuck in that awkward in-between stage where my hair is just starting to fall out, but I'm still maintaining my youthful acne.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Age Appearance Body

The same dress is indecent ten years before its time; daring one year before its time; chic in its time; dowdy five years after its time; hideous twenty years after its time; amusing thirty years after its time; romantic one hundred years after its time; beautiful one hundred and fifty years after its time.

(1899 – 1975) English fashion designer & critic
Appearance Clothing

I washed my edible underwear and now they're gone.


Appearance Clothing

A bag of tattooed bones in a sequined slingshot.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Appearance Body Clothing Insults

It is totally impossible to be well dressed in cheap shoes.

(1909 – 2003) English fashion designer
Appearance Clothing