Subject: Problems

It's human to make mistakes and some of us are more human than others.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Mistakes Problems

The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

When life gives you lemons, just say ‘Fuck the lemons’ and bail.

(1969 - ) American actor, comedian, & screenwriter
Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes

We made too many wrong mistakes.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Mistakes Yogi-isms

Philosophy: Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Problems

Never go out to meet trouble; if you will just sit still, nine cases out of ten someone will intercept it before it reaches you.

(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president
Problems

Accident: Any negligent or malicious behavior performed by someone with a clever lawyer.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Definitions Problems

Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is… well, an umpire.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Mistakes Problems Sports

I made a wrong mistake.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Misspokements Mistakes Problems Yogi-isms

Accident: When presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

Accidents Definitions Problems

Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Failure Problems Situations

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Death Murphy’s Laws Problems Taxes

Most projects require three hands.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people's accomplishments; the front page has nothing but man’s failures.

(1891 – 1974) 14th U.S. Chief Justice & politician
Failure Problems Sports

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Failure God Success

If at first you don't succeed, try try again… then quit; there's no use being a damn fool about it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Failure Situations Success

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Marriage Problems Shopping Wives

Everything will go wrong at one time.

Corollary: That time is always when you least expect it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Intelligence Problems Stupidity

Men still die with their boots on, but usually one boot is on the accelerator.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Accidents Autos Clothing Death Problems