Subject: Problems » Accidents

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History Time Truth

If you mess with something long enough, it'll break.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

A paint drip will always find the hole in the newspaper and land on the carpet underneath (and will not be discovered until it has dried).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

A flying particle will seek the nearest eye.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

They're funny things, accidents; you never have them till you're having them.

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Accidents Problems

I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Accidents Age Death Friends People

You can always hit what you don't aim at.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

actor, writer & editor
Accidents Problems War

Accident: When presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

Accidents Definitions Problems

If you drop something, it will never reach the ground.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

Accidents Definitions Problems

Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Accidents Autos Things

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs – but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

Accidents Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

Accidents Body Mind Problems

A dropped object will fall with an acceleration of 32 feet per second per second, and if it is your wallet, it will make every effort to land in a public toilet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Accidents Failure Situations

I spilled spot remover on my dog… he’s gone now.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Animals Dogs Problems

Man is the only kind of varmint who sets his own trap, baits it, then steps on it.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Accidents Animals People Problems

If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Accidents Entertainment Problems