Subject: Problems

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Failure Success

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Life Problems

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a bigger can.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

Activities Autos Beliefs Problems Proverbs Travel

Michael Jackson is what happens when you keep fixin' it until it's broke!

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Problems

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Money Problems

When your head is in the bear's mouth, it is not the time to be smacking him on the nose.

Communication Problems

Nothing you can’t spell will ever work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Problems

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Communication Mistakes Problems

1 + 1 hardly ever equals 2.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

My daughter's tricycle said “Some Assembly Required” … it came in a jar!

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Children Family Problems

Any system or program, however complicated, if looked at in exactly the right way, will become even more complicated.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems Work

The worst part is that I don’t even have the fun of doing the things I’m getting blamed for.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Problems

She had an unequaled gift of squeezing big mistakes into small opportunities.

(1843 – 1916) American-born writer
Mistakes People Problems

To err is human; to really foul things up takes a computer.

Computers Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Washing machines only break down during the wash cycle.
Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Problems

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Failure Success