Subject: Time

Up at the crank of dawn.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Time

The more boring and out-of-date the magazines in the waiting room, the longer you will have to wait for your scheduled appointment.

Health Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Time

American History Is A Thing of the Past

Headlines History

You always say 'I'll quit when I start to slide,' and then one morning you wake up and realize you done slid.

(1921 – 1989) American boxing champion
Future Time

Just give me a shave… I haven’t time to listen to a haircut.

Communication Speech Time

Yesterday: The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Age Definitions Time Young

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Situations Time

During the feminist seventies men were caught between a rock and a hard-on; in the fathering eighties they are caught between good hugs and bad hugs.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Conflict Men Past Women

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Money Time

I just don’t want you to do nothing on the sperm of the moment.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Time

People who make history know nothing about history; you can see that in the sort of history they make.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
History Time

Howard: It was an hour ago, Sheldon. A Jew sits in front of a house in Texas for that long, for sale signs start to go up.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Time TV/Movie Quotes

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money Time

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language Time

Women reach their sexual peak after 35 years; men reach theirs after about four minutes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Men People Sex Time Women

To estimate the time it takes to do a task, estimate the time you think it should take, multiply by two, and change the unit of measure to the next highest unit. (Example: allocate two days for a one-hour task)

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

He asked me if I knew what time it was… I said, “Yes, but not right now.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Time

A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Activities Shopping Things Time

No man goes before his time… unless the boss leaves early.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Individuals People Time Work

When I was at school I was great at history… oh wait, no I wasn't.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Education History Learning Time

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Activities Past People Time